Don't Go
by Fightingangels2k
Summary: Steve has had it and with his dying wish he confesses his love for Natasha before he shoots a bullet through his head, Can Natasha save him in time? Romanogers/Stasha/StevexNatasha Rated T for suicide (attempt?) and blood
1. I can't take it anymore

He couldn't take it. He already felt like a fish out of water and now with the down time, it was beginning to catch up with him. Maybe it's true what Ultron had said, that he couldn't live without a war. But without a fight, without a war, he could only wallow in self pity and sink deep into this new feeling. He had seen Sam about it and he had informed Steve that this feeling was depression. At times Steve cursed his serum, when he was so deep in this pit the scars from his wrists would just heal within a couple hours leaving him with no reminder. To a certain extent it was alright that the scars never stayed, no one saw them and would never question his well being. And then it came, the day he asked, ' _Would anyone care if I left..?'_. The thought made him more reckless out on the field, gladly putting his life on the line in hopes that maybe when he died it would be for a worthy cause. But whenever he was hurt he was brought to the medical wing, never given the chance.

Steve looked out the door of the bathroom before he shut it behind him, he didn't want anyone to see. With a click the door locked and he was by himself, he opened the bathroom drawer and found his razor. With deft movements he disassembled it and held the blade before him. The shower curtains closed he sat in the bottom of the tub as to not taint the rest of his bathroom. The bottom half of the tub had a faint red tint to it from the blood of past sessions. The razor cut into the thin of his wrist, he gritted his teeth tightly together to keep from crying out. Tears were streaming down his face as he continued on thinking of all of the bad and letting it release from his skin with the blood. He thought of the adjustment, _slice_ , of all of the terribly confusing things that happened around him constantly, _slice_. His thoughts went to Peggy and how he lost her, _sliceslice_ , The Commandos, _slice_ , and then Bucky, _slicesliceslice_. He had almost had him so many times but he kept running away, _slice_ , from him and the truth, _slice_. He truly was a ghost. _Slice_. The blood streamed down his arm, onto his legs and clothing and into the tub.

Steve switched hands so he held the razor blade against his right arm. The next place his thoughts went could fill an entire arm and more, _Natasha_. She was his closest friend, _slice_ , but that was it… _Slice_ , even though he loved her, _slice_ , she was in love with Bruce, _sliceslice_ , one of his friends, _slicesliceslice_. He started crying more and he couldn't control the sobs, _sliceslice_ , he really loved her, _slice_ , he thought they had something, _slice_ , but out of the blue she chose Bruce, _slicetyslicesliceslice_. He began to get really woozy at the loss of blood, he hadn't cut this much in a while but then again, Steve had never accidentally walked into Natasha tearing up quietly in her room with a picture in her hands. A picture of which he could only assume was Bruce, _slice_. In the quiet room a voice startled him.

"Captain Rogers, I know you previously asked me to not interrupt Code:Grey sessions, but your blood levels are dropping significantly."

"FRIDAY, please leave me alone, don't inform the others."

"But Sir, you are causing yourself serious harm and the grey matter in your brain has only grown more since you have started these sessions. I am afraid I must contact the medical team as it is my protocol."

"FRIDAY." Steve said with finality, "Order 19FS, now please leave me alone." His head started hurting again and the bathroom swirled around him.

"Yes Sir." FRIDAY responded with a somber tone. The AI would normally call help but the order 19FS forbids her from doing so.

Steve got up slowly and reached for the small cabinet in the shower that held shampoos. His head spun and the blood was dripping down his body. He almost stumbled into the curtain but he leaned against the wall for support. In the cabinet there was an assortment of different brands and types of shampoo with the occasional conditioner and body wash bar, but in the back of the cabinet there was a small secret door. Steve pushed aside the bottles and opened it to find his demise. A cold, hard gun. It was kept in the shower only in case of a surprise attack, but it would do what Steve needed it to do. He pulled the gun out and shut the cabinet. FRIDAY's panicked voice pulled through the intercom again.

"Captain Rogers! I am aware of my protocol that you have against me speaking or calling for help but you need to understand-"

"Call them," Steve interrupted FRIDAY with a sigh.

"Right away sir." FRIDAY answered rushedly. But before the intercom could click off Steve let out a final mutter.

"It'll be too late for them anyways."

"Sir, you are not actually going to pull the trigger? Right?!"

"FRIDAY, tell Sam not to feel guilty." Steve started with a quiver in his voice. "He was one of my best friends… Tell Tony I never really hated him and that he was an important piece of my life, then tell the Maximoffs to keep strong and to keep training- I know they will be great one day. Tell Vision and Rhodey that they were some of my best students and that I appreciated them. If Bucky ever comes to himself tell him to stay strong and alive, that he deserves the life he had in the forties and tell him he should never think he is anything less than that. Tell Bruce if he comes back that I will miss his calmness and rejection of war, something I could never have done. Tell Pepper and Jane they were some of the calmest, nicest and most patient people I have ever met and I will forever be indebted to them for their stability. And to Clint and his family, I will always be so grateful for the amount of love poured into me by them. For Sharon, Darcy, and Maria, tell them they are the most badass people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Tell Thor that was nice to have a friend who understood me as much as he did and I will always be grateful"

"Sir I have just contacted-"Steve interrupted her because he knew he had to say this and as fast as he could, before they could save him from himself. And while black-spots formed around the edges of his vision, he finished off.

"And last of all please tell Natasha that I'm sorry. I am sorry for putting this weight on you but...I really loved you, I wanted nothing more than to be with you, and I'm sorry for not being stronger through your rejection of my affection. Please don't beat yourself up about this, I just can't take it anymore…" With a deep breath Steve brought the gun the his neck and pointed it upwards. The black in his vision made it hard to see and Steve could barely stand.

"Sir just hold on, please, help is almost here stay with us." FRIDAY had a voice panicking so much that if the AI could sob or cry Steve would think she was. Steve heard his apartment door open and heard Natasha cry out into his apartment for him. He felt his knees give way and his vision blurry completely, he was about to pass out, but determined he pulled the trigger right before his head hit the wall. Then everything went black.

 **A/N Don't worry there is more to come!**


	2. This isn't happening

**I would like to thank everyone for all of the support with my first fanfic! I intend to release other stories and such but this one has been tugging at me for a while as I am a firm believer that Steve is suicidal. Anyway here is chapter two and I will update as often as I can with all of my homework(School sucks!) Enjoy!**

Wanda walked aimlessly down the halls of the New Avengers facility. She had eaten, trained and now was left with nothing to do. She walked into the hallway that held the doors to all of the Avengers quarters. She hummed a merry little tune and all but skipped along with her hand running against the wall. Then the happy thoughts dispersed in her brain and suddenly they were filled with images of a woman with dark hair and cherry red lips. The memory, obviously not hers, switched then to a group of men laughing from the perspective of she could only assume was a man. She looked towards the nearest door and saw the only option, Steve's room. Suddenly the happy/sad visions of men became red, she faintly saw what looked like an arm covered in blood. Knowing the context of the situation Wanda ran to the door and attempted to open it to find it locked. As she began to walk away more blood took catch of all of her thoughts. Then Natasha's face crossed her mind. She was sitting across from Bruce smiling at the doctor fondly, then more blood.

"FRIDAY, can you let me in something's not right." FRIDAY answered right away,

"I'm sorry Miss Maximoff but you do not have access to this room. Also, Captain Rogers does not allow me to interrupt Code:Grey sessions."

"Code:Grey sessions? What is that?"

"I'm afraid that is classified, but I would recommend Miss that you find someone who is close to the Captain in case I call you again." Something about the way FRIDAY said that with such urgency made Wanda question the female AI even more.

"Why would you call me?"

"That is classifi-..." FRIDAY cut herself off.

"FRIDAY?"

"I'm sorry, but order 19FS has been put into place, I can no longer speak on this topic."

Wanda knew what that order was, it meant she could not contact anyone or speak to the Captain. Her mind filled with the image of blood again and she sprinted to the end of the hall to find Natasha. Wanda fled down a flight of steps to one of the many gyms in the facility. Not wanting to wait she used her powers to fling the doors open before she could even touch them. Natasha, thankfully, was still in there punching away at one of the many hanging bags in the room.

"Nat!" Wanda screamed out, startling the assassin.

"Jesus, Wanda don't scare me like that!"

"It's Steve."

"What's wrong with Steve?" Natasha asked, her brow started to furrow in concern.

"I walked past his room and I got visions and I saw blood and I think he is cutting. FRIDAY said that he was having a Code:Grey session and then when I was trying to get into the room to see if he was ok FRIDAY said she couldn't let me in. Then she asked me to find someone close to Steve in case she called me again then she got order 19FS and-" Natasha interrupted her ramble.

"Order 19FS? Shoot!"

"I know! I am really worried about him."

"I have access to his room let's go see-" Before either of them could step foot and Natasha could finish FRIDAY interrupted them.

"I'm sorry for interrupting but Captain Rogers has acquired a gun and is in serious danger of shooting himself."

"Shoot! we have to go right now!" With that the girls ran down the hall and up the stairs.

"Miss Romanoff and Miss Maximoff he speaking what seems to be a verbal suicide note."

"I'm coming I'm coming just tell Steve to hang on!" Natasha yelled up to the ceiling. They ran to the door that lead to Steve's rooms and it clicked open. They ran in and Natasha screamed out.

"Steve!" But no reply came, the only sound that followed was so gut quenching that even the Widows eyes burned with tears.

The sound of a bullet being shot filled the apartment and all went silent. Natasha quickly sobbed before searching all of the rooms looking for his body. She opened the bathroom door and pulled back the shower to see so much blood. Steve sat crumpled against the wall of the shower with his eyes closed. In his right hand he held a G18 and his left hand held the blade of a razor. His arms were bleeding profusely from the cuts that lined them, and the bottom of the tub was stained with red. Natasha's tears came fast and furious as she fell to her knees on the floor, Wanda was screaming out for help through her tears and couldn't stop her uneven voice.

The door to Steve's room opened again and a group of people jogged in. Sam, who was leading the pack of doctors and nurses, stopped at the door. His best friend lay there lifeless and bloody with the source of it in his own hands. On the floor, Wanda was sobbing hysterically and Natasha was on her knees next to her. She had on a stoic expression but the tears streaming down her face betrayed her attempt to hide her emotions. The medic team began to clean Steve's cuts and carry him out of the tub onto the waiting stretcher. Sam stood there unmoving with silent tears. Steve was dead, not only that but he killed himself, and Sam couldn't stop the feeling that it was his fault. Sam, knowing he had to be the bigger man, pulled the youngest female into his arms and hugged her through the sobs.

Natasha got up immediately after the doctors got Steve on the stretcher and followed them. He was dead. He was gone. A fresh wave of tears fell as she ran after the medical team, leaving Sam and Wanda in the blood stained bathroom. _This isn't happening,_ she thought, _this is all just a bad dream, I'm gonna wake up any second to find Steve at my bedside waking me up from my nightmare._ But the vision of all the blood stayed, and she couldn't help but feel like it just added to her already dripping ledger.

The nurses brought him to the medical wing of the New Avengers facility and proceeded to close the door in Natasha's face before prepping for surgery and blood transfusions. Natasha pulled out her phone and dialed the first number that came to mind. She held the phone up to her ear, still looking through the glass window on the door, until it stopped ringing.

"Hey Nat!" Clint's voice broke through the speaker, in the background she could hear Lila laughing and Nathaniel's babbling.

"Barton we need you at the facility." The way Nat's voice went through the speaker changed the happy mood of the archer entirely.

"What is it?"

"It's Steve."

"What about Steve?"

"He just shot a bullet through his head."

 **A/N: Ok so in the last chapter I said 'Maximoff's' plural which insinuated that Pietro to still be alive but for the rest of the story I am going to keep the original story that he is dead. Remember to R &R as well as Favorite and Follow! **

**Thank you guys so much for all of the positive feedback on this story with the previous chapter. I will be putting out some other stories soon enough so stay tuned!**


	3. There's still hope

The sound of Clint's phone screen shattering on the floor made Laura look up from where she was helping Cooper with his homework.

"Honey?" She questioned cautiously.

"I need to get to the facility now." And with that her husband pounded upstairs. Laura followed after him to find the archer pulling out his overnight bag in their room.

"What's wrong? Why do you need to go to the facility?"

"Steve just shot himself." Laura stared at him incredulously.

"Are you serious?" Clint nodded solemnly. "I can't believe it.."

"Me neither… Stay with the kids, you can come down on the weekend to see how everyone is dealing."

"What's his condition?"

"I don't know, my phone kinda broke right after Nat said Steve shot himself."

"Oh God." Laura held her hand up to her forehead, her eyes were on the brink of tears and her whole body was shaking. Clint threw the shoulder strap over his head and, quickly giving Laura a kiss on the cheek, ran out to the big barn with a smaller quinjet in the loft. Laura looked out the window at the archers back, she walked downstairs slowly with her hands covering the better portion of her face. Steve killed himself. She couldn't hold the tears anymore.

"Pepper Potts."

"Hey Pepper." Pepper grinned at Natasha's voice coming through her Stark phone. She had been in her office or in several meetings all day so it felt good to hear a familiar voice.

"Natasha, what's up?"

"We need you and Tony at the Avengers facility immediately." Natasha's cold tone gave no indication of the direness of the situation.

"I'm sorry Nat, I have meetings all day and Tony has been holed up in his workshop all day." The CEO said apologetically.

"Steve killed himself." Pepper smile fell.

"Tony and I will be there in 20."

After cancelling her schedule that day she speed walked to her boyfriends workshop. Pepper opened the doors without knocking to find him working on a suit.

"Pepper!" Tony turned around, "Come check this ou-".

"We need to leave." She cut Tony off.

"What? Why?"

"Steve." Tony looked at her questioningly.

"What's wrong with Steve?"

"He's dead." The inventor's face contorted to a look of disbelief and agony.

"What? How?"

"He shot himself."

When Clint got to the facility an hour later he was met with a sea of worried faces. Pepper was in the corner of the waiting room talking quietly on her phone, there were obvious tears running down her face. Tony was sitting with his forearms on his knees and his head in his hands, his face couldn't be seen but the tiny puddle on the floor under his face gave Clint an idea. Wanda was balling softly into Visions shoulder and Sam and Rhodey were quietly talking with each other, both of their faces slightly splotchy. Maria and Fury were conversing silently near the door he had just walked through and Jane and Darcy were quietly sitting next to each other with looks of pure brokenheartedness. Finally Clint's eyes found Natasha. She was staring out the window absent-mindedly with tears shaking her whole form. Clint quietly crossed the room and sat next to her, she didn't even look at him.

"Hey.." He started, "How are you holding up?"

Natasha looked at him finally and Clint was able to examine the extent of her pain in her eyes. Her body shuddered and she finally spoke.

"I lost my best friend." Clint immediately wrapped his arms around her breaking form, trying desperately to hold her up.

"He was the only person besides you who listened to me and didn't judge me for my past. And he was the one who woke me up from my nightmares and comforted me back to sleep, what am I gonna do when I see his bloodied body in the bathtub everytime I close my eyes. He won't be able to help my nightmares because his corpse will be the source of them." Her eyes looked haunted. "I will never be able to get rid of that image of his arms covered in self-harm and blood, and that gun in his hand with blood spilling from his neck. That will never go away." The archer held her tighter to his chest with his own tears finally spilling. I click came over the room and FRIDAY's voice came over the speaker softly.

"Excuse my interruption but I thought you should know the medical team has figured out what happened to the bullet." Some of the people in the room perked up slightly while others slouched lower in sadness.

"Go ahe-ad FRIDAY" Tony softly said with a crack in his voice.

"In Captain Rogers attempted suicide he had lost a lot of blood which resulted in him missing his head and instead shooting his neck barely missing his windpipe and more." A collective sigh came out as they realized their friend was in fact not dead. But their happiness was short lived as the AI continued.

"However, the amount of blood lost and the bullet wound trying to heal itself before the bullet had been removed has resulted in a slim chance of survival. With all variables added up, The Captain's chance of survival is 20%."

"Thank you FRIDAY." Tony solemnly said. As Tony said this the door opened again admitting Thor into the room. No one had noticed his arrival with the usual lightning and thunder.

"Heimdall had informed me of the Captain's condition." The god said quietly explaining himself. But before anyone could respond to him the AI's voice filled the speaker again.

"Captain Rogers left a verbal suicide note. Would you like me to play it?" With her first words to anyone in the group but Clint, Natasha answered.

"Yes"

 **A/N: There is a chance of survival! I have two different roads I would like to take this down(obviously) so feel free to review what you think should happen. Thanks for all of the amazing support in my first fanfiction and I intend to post a new story either this week or next week so stay posted! Remember to F &F and R&R, love you all!**

 **-fightingangels2k**


	4. The revelation

**A/N: Thanks you guys for all of the reviews and I hope I implemented them into the chapter well enough for you! Okay here is the big reveal to Natasha! Are you excited? I'm excited… Enjoy!**

As the recording started to play the world went silent.

" _ **FRIDAY, tell Sam not to feel guilty." Steve started with a quiver in his voice. "He was one of my best friends…**_

Sam looked at the floor, tears falling all over again.

 _ **Tell Tony I never really hated him and that he was an important piece of my life, then tell Wanda to keep strong and to keep training- I know she will be great one day.**_

Pepper came and sat next to Tony rubbing his back as he sobbed, Wanda nuzzled tightly into VIsion, and Vision actually showed sadness in his eyes at the next part.

 _ **Tell Vision and Rhodey that they were some of my best students and that I appreciated them.**_

Rhodey looked to the ground and let some tears slip.

 _ **If Bucky ever comes to himself tell him to stay strong and alive, that he deserves the life he had in the forties and tell him he should never think he is anything less than that. Tell Bruce if he comes back that I will miss his calmness and rejection of war, something I could never have done. Tell Pepper and Jane they were some of the calmest, nicest and most patient people I have ever met and I will forever be indebted to them for their stability.**_

Jane turned to cry into Darcy's shoulder and Pepper let her tears fall onto tony's shoulder.

 _ **And to Clint and his family, I will always be so grateful for the amount of love poured into me by them.**_

Clint hugged Natasha tighter and felt himself start to lose control of his emotions.

 _ **For Sharon, Darcy, and Maria, tell them they are the most badass people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Tell Thor that was nice to have a friend who understood me as much as he did and I will always be grateful"**_

Maria and Darcy exchanged a glance, and Thor looked like he was using all of his energy to not throw Mjölnir across the room.

The recording ended and a few people looked at Natasha.

"What about little red?" Tony asked FRIDAY shakily. Steve couldn't just have forgotten his partner, could he?

"I'm sorry sir but due to what is said in the recording for her, I have a feeling that Steve would have liked it to be a private thing for only her to hear. However, Miss Romanoff? Steve is able to see visitors but I am afraid he will not be conscious. You may listen to the recording in his medical room, don't worry, I have already asked for permission on behalf of you."

The team looked cautiously at Natasha who looked shocked that whatever had been said to her was so important she had to listen to it in private.

"I'll go FRIDAY." Natasha walked to the door ignoring the stares on her back, trying to keep a stoic face but failing miserably. She walked out of the room to find a nurse waiting to escort her to the room Steve was laying. She walked into said room and found his limp body on the hospital bed. The nurse closed the door behind Natasha and left her be. His heartbeat was slow and almost nonexistent, but it was still there. He had multiple IV's in his scabbed and stitched arms and his neck was wound in cloth. Natasha walked slowly and sat on the chair on the right side of his bed, she grabbed his limp right hand a tried to breathe normally but she couldn't. Her tears slipped and she rested her forehead against the mattress. Quietly, FRIDAY's voice came over the speakers.

"Would you like me to play the recording?"

Natasha lifted her head and took a deep breath, "Yeah." A click came on and she began to hear Steve's voice on the intercom…

" _ **And last of all please tell Natasha that I'm sorry. I am sorry for putting this weight on you but...I really loved you, I wanted nothing more than to be with you, and I'm sorry for not being stronger through your rejection of my affection. Please don't beat yourself up about this, I just can't take it anymore…"**_

Natasha's hand flew to her mouth at his words. Steve loved her, he was in love with her, and she was too blind to realize it. The tears were full blown and she was sobbing hysterically, Steve killed himself because he couldn't take her rejection to his love for her? She had tried so hard to stay away from him after she realized the effect he had on her, he made her want to be loved but that was a weakness she could not afford, so she set him up on dates and then tried to be with Bruce. But the entire time Steve loved her, the entire time Natasha rejected him and tried to keep her distance, Steve was loving her. She had made Steve kill himself, she was the reason he was going to die. And despite Steve's last words to not beat herself up about it, she couldn't help but add him to her already gushing red-ledger. She was the reason he was dead, and the worst part is… She had loved him too…

Natasha reached desperately for Steve's hand again and heard herself beg, "Please! Steve come back to me, I love you too! Come back to me, come back I love you!" She was crying badly, and she was disgusted at how she begged but she didn't care, she wanted him back.

The door opened and Natasha turned her head to look at Clint, "He loved me" she said shaking.

"I know Nat, FRIDAY played the recording for us too." Natasha stood up fast knocking the chair over and began to pace.

"I'm the reason he's dead," she was sobbing as she walked up and down the room, "He killed himself because he thought I didn't love him."

"Nat just calm down…" Clint tried.

"No! He's gone because I tried to hide my emotions around him!"

"He's not gone yet Natasha, don't say he's gone."

"But he is!" Natasha couldn't help it, she slammed herself onto the open wall and fell onto the floor, her head rested in the little crook between her knees that were flushed as tightly as possible to her chest. And she seeped for what felt like the billionth time today. Clint came over and sat beside her against the wall and put an arm around her shoulders.

"He's still alive, we just have to keep hoping that he will be alright in the end, but we need to stay strong. It was his choice, and as much as it hurts all of us, we need to accept his decision. But all we can do now is keep hoping that Steve will pull through."

Natasha sniffed and leaned her head on his shoulder, "Okay."

As the night passed on the others came in to check on Steve, but Natasha never let go of his hand and despite everyone's best efforts, she stayed with him the whole time. She wasn't going to let go again.


	5. That's it!

**A/N: Hey I'm so sorry this took so long to get out, I wasn't sure where to take it so I had to take some time "writing in the shower" but here we go! Chapter 5!**

Natasha opened her eyes as the sun shone through the window onto her face. She felt like going back to sleep but every inch of her body ached, the assassin focused to her surroundings and remembered where she was. The steady beep of the monitors and the hand in hers kept her sane, and as much as she wanted to tilt her head off the mattress to find Steve's eyes looking back at her, she knew it wouldn't happen. She felt the tears that had overcome her ever since she had found out the news yesterday return. The red head sat for what felt like hours crying again until she ran out of tears. The door opened suddenly and Natasha fought the urge to spin around to see who it was, knowing if she did she would have to see Steve's limp form and blank face.

"Natasha?" Tony's voice rang through the room.

"What do you want Stark?" Natasha said colder than she had intended.

"Clint sent me to come get you. We made breakfast back at the communal floor."

"I'm not hungry." Natasha said with finality.

"Well, if you do get hungry or need us, you know where to find us." With that Tony left Natasha alone in the hospital room.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The inventor closed the door behind him and sighed, _Poor Natasha_. He never thought he would ever say that sentence, she had always been so strong. In contemplation he noticed a doctor headed in his direction.

"Excuse me? But do you know Steve Rogers condition?" Tony spoke up.

"Oh yes," the doctor began, "Yesterday during surgery we had found the bullet barely hit anything major."

"So he's gonna be fine?" Tony asked hopefully.

"Umm, yes and no." Tony became agitated.

"What do you mean 'Yes and No'?"

"Well there was a lot of damage done to his neck tissue and muscles but due to his serum we cannot get in there to fix it before it attempts to fix itself."

"Which means?" The inventor prompted.

"Which means there is nothing more we can do for the captain."

"So he is just gonna heal himself?"

"Well, that's the thing, we don't know but we can hope for the best."

"We just have to hope for the best?! Are you crazy?!" Tony was yelling now.

"Mr. Stark please calm down-"

"NO I won't calm down! When is he supposed to be awake and ready to leave?!"

"His current coma has not been confirmed to end..."

"What do you mean?"

"We don't know when he will wake up or even if he will wake up at all with a better chance of the latter."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! You are some of the best doctors money could buy and you can't help him at all!?

"I'm afraid not…" The doctor tried to stay calm for the yelling of the millionaire.

"THAT'S IT! He is coming to Stark Tower and I'm his new doctor if you aren't gonna do anything about it! He is freaking Captain America! We are getting him back no matter the cost!"

"But sir!-"

"No buts! He is coming with me end of discussion! FRIDAY? Alert my team we are moving him to Stark Tower." Tony turned on his heel and walked back to the door to Steve's hospital room.

Before entering Tony calmed himself he decided he didn't want Natasha to know of him taking Steve or no progress will get done. She would just stay next to his bedside and not let Tony some near him with any sort of treatment.

"Hey Little Red?" Tony attempted.

"Didn't you just leave?"

"Ya well Clint says it's mandatory breakfast and you have to go."

"No." The assassin said stubbornly.

"Cap is about to go through surgery again any minute, so 'no' is not an answer." Tony tried again scrambling for a reason for her to leave.

"Why would he need surgery again?" Natasha looked up finally to inspect Tony.

"I don't know but you have to go."

"Fine…" She got up stubbornly and walked to the door. With her walking past Tony was able to inspect her bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, along with the bags under her eyes. She obviously didn't get a lot of sleep. After Natasha left Tony pulled out his phone and dialed. After a few rings she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey little sis," Tony said with a smirk, "i'm gonna need some help."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

After Tony's team had moved Steve to the Stark Tower he checked the status of his incoming science sis.

"FRIDAY, when is she getting here?"

"She is already here." As soon as the AI finished speaking the elevator to Tony's lab dinged open.

"Jane!" The light brown haired girl dropped her duffle bag and let go of her suitcase handle to accept the inventor's hug.

"Hey Tony! So, how's Steve?"

"Oh I see, skipping pleasantries to see the super-soldier."

Jane laughed, "No Tony, he's just our patient and we need to get working right away."

"Right well I have checked all of his vitals and everything, you know to see if he's alive, and he's all healthy. Well besides his neck's terrible attempt at fixing itself, the tissue rebuilt itself partly into his windpipe and without the breathing machine he can't breathe."

"Easy fix, now what's with the coma?"

"The doctor's had no clue, I have no clue, Pepper has no clue. And when Pepper doesn't know you know the world is ending." Jane rolled her eyes.

"Alright then it seems that I will have to perform surgery first. Can we get Dr. Helen Cho's machine?"

"Helen's machine? Who made it?Me. That's who." Jane gave him a look. "Fine, of course you can use it."

"Then let's get started."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Natasha walked through the corridors of the New Avengers facility. Clint had forced her to sleep in her own bed, which only led her to have nightmares, but she still got some sleep. Hopefully seeing Steve would help her calm down. The redhead looked down at her watch, 1:23, had she really been gone that long? When she reached Steve's room she opened the door cautiously and was shocked.

The room was empty.

" .Font." She said through gritted teeth. Natasha immediately called Tony, knowing it was somehow his fault.

After a few rings the Tony's voice came through the speaker.

"Hey Curvalicious."

"Where the hell is Steve?

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Tony looked frighteningly at Jane. Jane just shrugged at him and mouthed, ' _You got yourself into this mess'._

"Oh about that," Tony started cautiously.

"What…" She asked, irritated.

"Fury had him moved to a secret base, he was given the news so he thought it best to just keep him safe and wait for as long as it takes."

"As long as what takes?"

"Nat, his coma, they don't think he will ever come out of it."

"Are you serious?" Her voice came through shakily.

"I'm sorry Red." With that the line went dead. With a sigh Tony looked to his machinery again.

"FRIDAY can you alert Fury of the current situation and then tell him of what happened in my last phone call?"

"Of course sir." The AI responded. Jane look skeptically at Tony from under her eyelashes.

"Not telling him yourself?"

"Hell no, I'll let the AI get most of the crap for it." Jane rolled her eyes at Tony before returning to the tissue-regeneration machine.


	6. Good News never mind

**A/N: I know I know I know! I am so sorry I haven't posted in 2 whole entire weeks, you can start throwing the stones now. However I posted a AU story so go check that out!(Romanogers is inevitable). Anyway here's Tony's shenanigans trying to get Cap back enjoy!**

Jane Foster looked down at the regeneration machine for what felt like the millionth time that day, Steve had been in there for an hour and a half and would be out soon so they could figure out this coma mystery.

"How's he doing?" Tony's voice broke through Jane's silence.

"He's stable, if we didn't know he was in a coma I would think he was simply asleep."

"How much longer will he be in there for?"

"About," Jane looked down at her Stark Watch, "two minutes."

"Ok, lets set up a proper MRI and get ready to see what's going on inside that brain of his." As Tony set up the MRI and brain scan while Jane got ready to move the Captain out of the tissue-regeneration machine. After the two geniuses had everything set up and Steve had moved from the machine to the MRI they began to scan him.

"I'm not finding anything" Jane said as they watched the MRI on his head.

"Keep looking, there has to be a reason for this." Tony said to Jane failing to hide his desperation. After a few minutes of looking through the MRI Jane finally saw something unusual.

"Tony come look at this!" The inventor rushed to Jane's side to look at the screen in front of her. Tony pulled the screen up onto an holographic table and Jane shared her discovery.

"The bullet here broke this nerve," Jane said pointing to what looked like a teeny-tiny snapped string. "Normally, that wouldn't affect anything but from what I have gathered it appears that that nerve was indirectly connected to his brain. The bullet hitting the nerve seems to have affected his temporal lobe. From what I can tell this caused him to be in a short coma. If I use statistics as well as this new information and FRIDAY, we should know when he will wake up." Jane moved her hands around the holographic imagery until all of the information and equations were added up. "He should wake up tomorrow around 2 or 3 O'clock."

"Wow, okay let's see what else we can do for him in the meantime, I'll alert Fury and little red." Tony started to walk off but Jane grabbed his forearm causing him to turn back around.

"What?"

"We don't know what will be wrong when he wakes up."

"Wait, but what would make something wrong?"

"Tony, damage to the temporal lobe can result in him having trouble hearing or seeing, he could have a change in behavior or he could even lose his memory. Don't tell Natasha yet, she would be pretty heartbroken if she got her hopes up and he couldn't even hear, see, or remember her."

Tony sighed, "I'll tell Fury then, we need to keep this on the down low until we know the extent of the injury." With that Jane stopped the MRI and Tony called Fury.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Natasha marched into Fury's office and didn't even bother to knock on the door. Fury seemed to be on the phone with someone, but he ended the call when she entered the room.

"Ms. Romano-"

"What the actual hell Nick!" Nat interrupted him. "Steve was doing just fine here! Now I-we have no idea where he is!"

"I assure you Captain Rogers is in a safe place with all of the best security."

"Then why can't I visit him?!"

"Because, Agent Romanoff," The former director said rubbing his temples in frustration. "We cannot have his location compromised."

"You know me Nick, I am not going to compromise where Steve is." The redhead was starting to get desperate, and unfortunately Fury noticed.

"I'm afraid that if you go meet him not only will his location become compromised but your emotions will become even more compromised then they already are."

"I'm not compromised Nick." Her quivering voice gave her away.

"Look at yourself Natasha," the former directors face softened at her, "Ever since Steve's attempted suicide you have been a wreck. I know it's only been a few days but you have barely gotten any sleep and I know you're only eating because Clint is all but shoving it down your throat."

"I just can't believe that he would actually do that, he just gave up." Natasha's eyes began to fill with tears. "He was my partner and I should have looked out for him and noticed when he started going downhill. Sure I knew he was different after Ultron but I had no idea how bad it actually was…" Surprising Natasha and the former director himself, Fury got up and went to Natasha. He pulled her in for a hug and Natasha's tears finally burst from her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder.

"It's all my fault Nick, he killed himself over something as petty as loving me. And to think he would still be alive if I had only told him I loved him too. It's so stupid, I shouldn't be this hung up about it but it's all my fault."

Nat cried for a minute talking nonsense before calming down. And realizing the awkward situation she was in she took a step back out of his arms and looked to the ground.

"He will get better." Fury stated surely. Nat looked up at him before responding,

"How do you know?"

"Because he has to, and Rogers doesn't disobey orders. And he's too stubborn." Natasha smiled slightly at the older man. "He will be fine, then you too can talk and then we will spend the rest of our lives turning corners seeing you and the Captain making out or some crap." Nat rolled her eyes at that.

"That depends if he even wakes up or wants to talk to me."

"We can only hope for the best..."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 _ **The next day at 3:45**_

"This is stupid!" Tony cried out indignantly. "He should be awake by now!"

"Tony calm down, he will be fine. Calculations aren't always correct."

"But he needs to wake up soon I don't think I could handle it if-" Tony was cut off by the sound of a steady beeping. FRIDAY promptly explained.

"It seems Captain Rogers is regaining consciousness." Tony yelled a 'yes!' while Jane let out a huge breath of relief. The machinery around Steve whirred a bit but settled down as Tony and Jane watched Steve's eyelids start to flutter and ultimately open. He looked confused a moment before Steve moved his head to look around the room, then he suddenly sat up. Tony couldn't contain himself and quickly hugged the man.

"Capsicle!" Steve held a confused face as Tony hugged him and Jane rolled her eyes. Moving Tony, the astrophysicist began to check up on Steve.

"Morning, how is your hearing? I want you to wave at me if you can hear me." Steve tentatively raised his hand a gave a small wave.

"If you can see everything normally blink twice," Steve blinked twice, "And now just gonna check your voice."

"My voice is fine." Steve's authoritatively spoke up. Tony was practically jumping up in down.

"Spell Space please."

"S-P-A-C-E"

"Now spell space backwards."

"E-C-A-P-S" Jane looked relieved,

"Seems you're all better Captain!" Jane said and Steve looked at Tony curiously as he screamed another 'yes'. Tony hugged Jane from behind and spun her around, then let go and Jane gave Steve a hug. But Steve still looked confused, Jane finally noticed.

"Is there something wrong Captain?" she spoke up.

"Umm ya I just have one question…"

"Shoot."

"Who are you guys?"

 **A/N: OOOooooOOOooohhhhh CLIFF HANGER! Don't forget to leave feedback and check out my other new story "Diving In"! Luv ya'll!**

 **-fightingangels2k**


	7. Just for now

**A/N: I'm trying I'm trying, but it is getting increasingly hard to continue stories and not start one of these many ideas floating in my head. But imma try to update this story more and finish it up so I can start yet another Steve/Nat Post:AOU story. And it doesn't help that I keep getting sick and instead of writing I find myself binge watching How I Met Your Mother or reading other fanfictions. Anyway here's the next installment.**

It had been a month since Steve shot himself, and it was still a sore spot for the team. Nat threw herself into training the Avengers and tried as hard as she could to busy herself. Sam and Rhodes followed suit and worked until they couldn't, when they couldn't push themselves physically anymore, they then took refuge at the bar in the New Avengers facility. All of the alcohol seemingly disappeared within a few days and if it wasn't for a gracious Tony Stark's wallet, Sam, Rhodey, and Nat would be broke. Vision was still beginning to understand emotion so he spent his time helping Wanda, unable to grieve himself. But Wanda showed the worst of all of them. Wanda was a wreck. She started losing control of her powers again even after all of her training with Steve, but the soldier was like a second brother to her and it was like she lost Pietro all over again. Clint returned home and mourned with his family and Thor left for Asgard again. Everyone's assumptions were that Jane left with Darcy and were simply hiding in sadness and Tony drowned himself in alcohol and work. Little did the other Avengers know that Tony and Jane, with Darcy and Pepper to keep them alive, were trying to help the very much alive Steve Rogers in his memory loss problem. They tried the entirety of the month to help him regain his memories. Tony tried different machinery to bring it back and Jane put many different chemical compounds and equations together in an attempt to do the same. But it was no use, they taught him the simple stuff; his name was Steven Grant Rogers, he worked in the military for the most part and he was their friend. But after the end of the month and Steve still had immediate recall only, they gave up. Tony finally pulled plan B.

"Hello?" Clint's voice came through the speaker of Jane's Starkphone.

"Hey, Barton…"

"Jane? What's up? We haven't heard from you and Darcy in a while."

"Well, we have been helping Tony with something-"

"Is he okay? He hasn't answered to anyone's calls in a while."

"He's fine but we need a favor." Jane was starting to bite her lip in nervousness, it was now or never.

"Sure, sure."

"Um, do you happen to have a loft or makeshift type bedroom in your barn?" Clint paused.

"Yaa… Why do you ask?"

"We have a friend that needs a place to crash and work but go undetected." Jane locked eyes with Darcy who was helping Tony help Steve with something on a StarkPad.

"May I ask who? After all they would be living with me."

"You might just want to see for yourself, can we some by tonight?"

"Sure." After a few more questions and pleasantries Jane hung up and looked over to Tony and Darcy. She caught Darcy's eye again and Darcy smacked Tony causing him to turn around and look at Jane.

"Did he agree?" Tony questioned hopefully.

"He did."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Later that night after the sun set, one of Tony's quinjets landed in the field in front of the Barton Farmhouse. Jane walked to the front door with Tony and Darcy walked a couple yards behind with Steve. Before they could even ring the doorbell the door opened to reveal Clint holding little sleeping Nathaniel in his arms.

"Who is it?"

"Wow Barton, no hello? No 'hey, how ya doin'?"

"Well I want to know who is so important to you, Stark, that you are willing to...oh my god." Clint cut himself off when he caught sight of Steve walking up the pathway to his porch. He started to try to push past Tony to go to his friend but Jane stopped him.

"Barton, we need to talk." Jane forcefully spoke, Clint nodded absentmindedly as he led Tony and Jane into his house. Darcy sat with Steve on the porch steps.

"The rest of the kids are being tucked in, now," Clint sat down at the dining room table(after putting Nate in his crib) with the two, "Why is he here, How is he awake, Why can't I say hi, and how come you didn't tell me when he first woke up?"

"He's been awake for about a month," Jane started softly but Clint cut her off.

"A month?! A whole entire godda-"

"But he can't remember anything." Tony shut him up.

"What? Are you serious?" Tony nodded and Jane responded softly,

"We have tried everything but he has immediate recall only." Clint nodded and matched her tone of voice.

"So what is he doing here?"

"He needs somewhere to stay, to work even, that may trigger memories without getting too many hopes up." Clint nodded.

"I just need to take it up with Laura and let the kids no the context of the situation. But I bet Laura will say yes."

"We understand, thank you so much Agent Barton." Clint nodded before offering them coffee in which they gratefully accepted. After the coffee was brewed and being poured into their cups they began general discussion about Steve's state. They became quiet as Laura came down stairs and looked skeptically at a sheepish looking Clint.

"What's going on?"

"Um, Tony and Jane need us to house someone for a while." Laura crossed her arms over her chest and looked pointedly at Clint.

"Who?"

"Steve." Laura uncrossed her arms and held an expression of shock.

"He's awake? Where is he? The kids have been missing him so much! When did he get out of his coma? How is he? Is he alright-"

"He has amnesia and immediate recall only." Jane interrupted her. "He's been out of his coma for about a month, and we just need a place for him to lay low and maybe regain some memory."

"Okay. That's fine, he can sleep in the second guest bedroom and he can help out around the farm with Clint."

"Thank you so much Mrs. Barton." Jane shook her hand before getting up to go get Darcy and Steve.

"Do you think we can convince the kids to play along?" Laura asked Clint.

"I'm sure we'll figure it out. We always do." Clint responded with a chaste kiss on her lips. Tony leaned back in his chair ready to drop the bomb.

"No one else knows..." Clint turned to him again.

"Wait, Really?"

"We didn't want him to never be him again and make this worse for everyone."

"Well everyone still could've helped! They still can!"

"And do you really want to see the look on Nat's face when she realizes that he's not the same person and doesn't love her anymore? Do you really want to see the look on Wanda's face after she is given hope that Steve, her new brother figure since Pietro's death, may be fine only to see he's practically a different person. I knew you guys could handle this but the rest the team, especially the girls, are so emotionally unstable as it is. Do you really want more heartbreak?" Clint looked to the floor. "I just…" Tony sighed, "...it's hard enough for us to handle, I can't imagine what it would be like for the rest of the team. And come on Barton you're a spy for Thor's sake! Can't you just lie? Or just keep this secret a little bit longer?"

Clint pursed his lips before nodding reluctantly.

"Thank you…" Just then the door opened revealing Jane followed by Darcy and Steve. Laura ran forward and hugged Steve, unable to control herself. He uncomfortably hugged her back with a polite "ma'am". Clint coughed and Laura pulled back with a sheepish smile.

"Welcome Steve." She said in a soft tone. Steve gave a shy smile in return with a nod.

"Thank you ma'am for letting me stay in your home, I don't mean to be any trouble."

"Oh it's no trouble Steve. You used to visit us all of the time, we love having you."

"As I have been told, and I feel rather weird having been here but not remembering it, but thank you none the less."

"Your welcome… I'm probably going to have you be doing some work around the farm like feeding the animals and repairing stuff that Clint hadn't gotten to."

"Thank you ma'am." And with some more scheduling for Steve's checkups and pleasantries Jane, Tony and Darcy left Steve to get unpacked and the Barton's to adjust.

 **How was it? I know it probably doesn't justify 2 months of silence but whatevs. Because of the long time and such I figured I would give feedback on 5 lucky commenters, here we go!**

 **Romanogerreader: Thanks so much for the feedback and the idea of Nat being overprotective is a really great idea I think I'll use it!**

 **CrazyCaz: Memory Loss=A blessing and a curse- And I'm counting on Natasha helping or else there really wouldn't be a point to all of this. It would just be Steve getting over memory loss and angst and not at all romantic.**

 **Kelsocspanatarailka: Aaaaaaaaaahhhh I know right!**

 **MeowMix110: I AM SO SORRY! It was a cliffhanger and I left you hanging! *tries to give you internet hugs* And also thanks for the awesome reviews!**

 **Supesfan18: Tony would totally get beat… he probs will get beat, Nat's not gonna like it at all.**

 **Thanks to all of the other reviewers and reviews! Hope you enjoyed and pray that I update this sooner rather than later(like two months later)!**


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